How to Thrive as an Empath
One of the greatest keys to awakening and healing an empath is understanding how and why people “use” you. I don’t say this to throw anyone into victimhood (hello 7 years ago me, lol). However, as an empath or healer of any kind, you must understand this and learn how to navigate it if you want to thrive.
You see, I’ve been single for a long time. After years of serial monogamy in my 20s, I felt this deep pull to be alone. To be comfortable with showing up to a party alone. To have my own identity separate from anyone else for a while. For a couple years I wasn’t even open to dating at all, and to be honest, I had a fucking blast. Ah yes, I went to festivals with my friends and had all night dance parties with my roommate when Beyonce and Rihanna were life itself. I booked spontaneous trips and traveled alone and I learned what I wanted and didn’t want without being swayed by other opinions. Mostly, I met and unleashed my soul; the wild woman inside that I suppressed for so long. I cherish that time, as it allowed me to ground myself and shed light on the years of codependency I had fallen into, which is a very common problem for an empath.
As I spent those years freeing myself on a soul level, I noticed something interesting. The more open and alive I was, the more people would gravitate to me. At parties, people would walk up to me for no reason, noticeably unsure of why they even came up to me, just to say there was something about my vibe or to tell me their life story. Whether it was my vibe or the LSD, hard to say, they would pour out their heart to me. I felt amazing when this happened because I could feel the shift in their energy after our conversation was over. They’d hug me saying they hadn’t felt that lite in a long time. They got a high off the release, and I got a high off the healing. I mean lets be real; empaths LOVE holding space for people even if it’s on an unconscious level. It’s what we do.
I’ve known all of this for a long time, but dating has brought it into a new light. Over the last couple years I’ve found myself in much different connections that I ever used to experience. This time around, I’m grounded, I’m intuitive and I can heal and hold space for others without draining myself. Sometimes I find myself being pursued by guys that are much different than me, sometimes so different that it’s confusing. When this happens, it makes sense; they usually are searching for healing. Not so much on a conscious level, and they might not say or even realize that, but the empath healing magic is what they are feeling drawn to [side note: that is not the case for everyone of course, just be aware when you attract this scenario]. There’s nothing wrong with this. There’s no one side that’s better than the other and being an empath, healer [or any other woo woo term you want to insert] does not make you better. It just, is. As an empath, you WILL attract people who need healing. Know this. Accept this.
So, how can you work your empath magic without draining yourself? Here’s what has helped me:
GROUND YOSELF. Seriously, this is a numero-uno-first-step-must-do. There are many ways to do this and you have to find what works best for you. For me, I need space, quiet time and nature. I once dated a guy who wanted to hang out all the time very early into knowing each other. It was nice and fun, but I’d leave feeling drained and uninspired because I wasn’t taking care of myself. I would go from his house to my house to work and repeat. I fell off my self care routine because my schedule was all over the place. He often said he was drawn to my vibe and just wanted to be around me. He was also working through a lot of heartbreak. In hindsight, it makes sense. Empaths give off a nurturing, calming and nonjudgemental vibe by default. We like to feel helpful and needed. We can take people from a lower vibration to a high one: this is transmuting. People who need it the most will show up out of nowhere. Friends, lovers, a stranger you meet in passing. And yes, you CAN hold space for them in a way most others can't. You can transmute their energy and help them heal, IF they’re ready. So embrace it! You have a gift, not a curse, as long as you’re taking care of yourself. Capish?
SET BOUNDARIES. When you’re energetically sensitive, it’s easy to pick up other people’s junk. You’re not necessarily taking on their energy and emotion, but you are very affected by it and will react to it. My mood can shift instantly walking into a room or being around a certain person. Sometimes I feel it in the moment, sometimes it’s after I walk away. I can tell when I’m processing emotions that don’t belong to me and oof, it’s not very comfortable. So, set ya boundaries according to what you need to stay grounded and clear so you don’t put yourself in situations that end up draining you.
When you can lock in these two habits, you will start to thrive as an empath. That’s when this gets fun; consciously choosing how you want your energy to shift a room or a situation. Anchoring your vibration. Knowing you are honoring and taking care of yourself allows you to show up so much stronger for the world, and isn’t that what we need right now? As the world is waking up, empaths and healers are being called to action more than ever to help people navigate their awakening into this new paradigm. So please, be honest with yourself about your needs and make sure they are met. Implement a daily self care routine and show yourself some love. We all need for you to be whole and happy, shining your light to the path ahead.
XO